Author Archives: japrap

Bitch in Spinning Class

Yo I gots to tell you what I just saw

This bitch in my spinning class not wearin’ a bra

Now, that bitch is crazy, I didn’t wanna meet her

All bouncin’ around in her WHITE WIFE BEATER

Her chest wasn’t flat, NO, it was QUITE feminine

But bitch you betta go and do some Lululemonin’

Cuz I see enough when we’re dow at the lockers

And in class I don’t gots to be starin’ at your knockers

When I’m on a climb I don’t need to see your titties

This ain’t Ithaca, bitch, this is NEW YORK CITY

So go and buy a bra and but those bosoms on a shelf

If I wanna see some tits, I got a fine-ass pair myself

word.

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Bitch Eatin’ Yogurt on the Train

Bitch eatin’ yogurt on the train

WHAT UP BITCH, are you insane?

I kept my mouth shut cuz I don’t like bein’ rude

But the MTA is not the place to EAT YO OPEN FOOD

Now I love eatin’ yogurt, bitch, please don’t get me wrong

In the comfort of my home, in the comfort of my thong

I like Dannon and Yoplait and Fage to boot

Activia tastes good but it REALLY MAKES ME TOOT

Those ones with cookie crumbs? HEAALLLS yeah bitch, I got ’em

I gots all those mother fuckers with the FRUIT on the BOTTOM

But when you’re on the subway, bitch you bet you betta toss it

This ain’t no LIRR on its way to Syosset

People here are crazy, drunk and on narcotics

And you’re just chillin’ there with your PRO-BI-OTICS

People coughin’ and sneezin’, they probably have SARS

Bitch, that’s just how we roll on the NQRs

Now I’m glad that you like yogurt, it aids in digestion

But when you ride the train, bitch, it’s just out of the question.

word.

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Yom Kippur, Bitch

Yo yo yo, it’s Yom Kippur, bitch

If you don’t know that, you’re a sucker

I’m stuck in shul, repenting like a fool

And I am one HUNGRY MOTHA FUCKA

I wish that a fairy would bring me some Pinkberry

Or a peanut butter cone from Tasti-D

I’d give my left titty for just a LITTLE BITTY

Of a breadstick from the Cheesecake Factory

Bitch, today I won’t be pleasant even if you bring me presents

I apologize if Im bein’ rude

So stay away while I daven cuz you won’t get any lovin

Nothin comes between this Jew girl and her food

word.

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Rosh Hashanah, Bitch

YO YO YO didn’t you remember?

It’s the Jewish new year at the end of September

Well, sometimes it’s later and sometimes it’s sooner

Ya never know, bitch, CUZ THIS CALENDAR IS LUNAR

(boom boom chick wikka wikka what waaat)

All the Jews in the land with all of their money

Will get their freak on with some apples and honey

And then get in their cars and shout to their chauffers

“Bitch, take me to shul, so I can listen to some shofers!”

(tekiah tekiah…gadolAH)

So tonight if you’re thinkin of doin the nasty

With a freaky Jewish girl with a good rhinoplasty

Don’t tell her you’ll call and then screw her ova

Just wish her yasher koach and a big l’shana tova

Happy new year.

bitch.

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