By now you know that I really can’t deal
When I get on the train and a bitch pulls out a meal
You’re just askin’ for your food to get gross and germy
When you eat in on a train that’s all MUCOUSY AND SPERMY
Since I rapped about it last I thought this problem would reverse
But on the contrary, bitch, it just GOT MUCH WORSE
Perhaps I wasn’t clear, and you didn’t realize
That when you’re on the bus my same philosophy applies
So I’m sittin’ on the bus about to send my mom a text
And you never will believe what HAPPENED TO ME NEXT
This crazy-ass bitch, yo I can’t even explain ‘er
Stepped on to the bus with a styrofoam container
She sat right next to me and my eyes opened wide
Cuz I knew I wasn’t gonna like WHATEVER WAS INSIDE
She reached into a sack that I thought contained some pencils
But much to my dismay, she pulled out PLASTIC-ASS UTENSILS
And then the situation went from orange to red alert
When she took out a napkin and she TUCKED IT IN HER SHIRT
She opened up the box and in my pants I made a pish
YES, right there on the bus this bitch was eatin’ a FISH
Like The Sandlot kid dreamt of the Great Bambino
I was livin a nightmare, with a BUS BRANZINO
The bus quickly filled with its stanky aroma
A lady in the back fell into a coma
A smell like that just worsens and lingers
And she’s all smackin’ her lips and like, lickin’ her fingers
A guy in the front held his face with a rag
While the rest of the bus just started to gag
Babies were cryin’, ladies makin’ a fuss
That’s the shit we’s gots to deal with on the CROSSTOWN BUS
This bitch just kept on eatin’, like she didn’t even think
That this bus smelled worse than one in the STINK
I couldn’t even breathe, there was nowhere to hide
Somehow I had to get to the UPPA WEST SIIIIEED
I needed to get out so I pressed the exit taping
I gots to get a way from this FISH NOSE RAPING
So I got off the bus, and I regained my power
And I walked across town, and it took me an hour
Now, I know that you may think that I should quit my bitchin’
This is New York City, we ain’t got no eat-in kitchen
But eating on the bus, folks, is simply abhorous
Especially something that’s so smelly and porous
The MTA is dirty, the seats will give you crabs
So leave the food at home. I should start to take more cabs.
word.
Superb
awesome! that really is disgusting. and I thought coworkers eating fish in the break room was bad.
Pingback: My new friend–fish
One day I’ll tell you about my Jitney ride with a nice Jamaican woman who ate fried chicken from 87th and 1st all the way to Hampton Bays.