Easter is upon us, bitch, and as you might suspect
I ain’t out celebratin’ Jesus bein’ RESURRECT
While all you kids are mackin’ on your Peeps and chocolate eggs
I’ll eat some mandel bread at home and shavin’ my JEWISH LEGS
While you don your Lilly Pulitzer and patent leather shoes
I will celebrate a different day with my fellow Jews
It’s a very special holiday, can you tell me which?
Toss that bread out the window cuz IT’S PASSOVER, BITCH!
So for the next week you bet yo ass I am goin’ to be
One of them bitches who’s all, “UMMMM…Is this gluten-free?”
So gather all around, all my sisters and brothers,
And I’ll tell you why this night is so much DIFFERENT THAN THE OTHERS
We tell the tale of our escape from the Pharaoh and some haters
We still eat and still complain but we call these dinners SEDERS
Our people fled from Egypt thanks to locusts and some frogs
So that their greatgreatgreatgreat granddaughter could write some RAPPING BLOGS
And Pharoah had some boils and noone could diagnose it
Cuz the Jewish doctors LEFT and now we laugh and eat CHAROSET
They had to flee the land with just the matzo on their backs
Bitch, you know those were my ancestors, WE ALWAYS CARRY SNACKS
It was one long-ass journey, through the desert they were roamin’
And as we read about it someone hides the afikomen
And the kids all run to find it, hopin’ they will be the winner
Leave it to us Jews to MAKE SOME MONEY DURING DINNER
And the Jews escaped to freedom and were filled with such elation
So we celebrate with matzo and a week of constipation
And we laugh and eat and every year the brisket gets much chewier
So it kinda is like other nights, but better, and much Jewier
So no matter what you celebrate, please enjoy your day-ach
And if you see a Jew, you wish that bitch a CHAG SAMEACH.
Thanks, I needed that. 😀
to the extreme, motha fuuukaa!
Ha! Pretty funny. You are one rappin’ JAP. Very enlightening about the Jewish doctors; no wonder Pharoah decided to follow!
Hysterical! And I’m a shiksa without my Jewish translation dictionary.
look at you all smart, sassy and funny! I’m in!
Reblogged this on Jap Rap.