Easter is upon us, bitch, and as you might suspect

I ain’t out celebratin’ Jesus bein’ RESURRECT

While all you kids are mackin’ on your Peeps and chocolate eggs

I’ll eat some mandel bread at home and shavin’ my JEWISH LEGS

While you don your Lilly Pulitzer and patent leather shoes

I will celebrate a different day with my fellow Jews

It’s a very special holiday, can you tell me which?

Toss that bread out the window cuz IT’S PASSOVER, BITCH!

So for the next week you bet yo ass I am goin’ to be

One of them bitches who’s all, “UMMMM…Is this gluten-free?”

So gather all around, all my sisters and brothers,

And I’ll tell you why this night is so much DIFFERENT THAN THE OTHERS

We tell the tale of our escape from the Pharaoh and some haters

We still eat and still complain but we call these…