While Santa hits the skies to deliver gifts with Blitzen
My people are in Boca, complaining that they’re schvitzin’
And they’re slappin on some lotion, cuz their eczema, it itches
Yes, even though it’s Christmas, it’s still HANUKKAH, BITCHES!
So set aside your presents, step away from them trees
And celebrate for Judah and the fuckin’ Maccabees
Because without them Maccabees, we would all be pagan
And there would be no Hanukkah for Judge ELENA KAGAN
All because these Jewish boys defeated Greeks and Syrians
So their children could be doctors up at New York Presbyterian
They had one night of oil, they were running out of luck,
But it burned for eight whole nights and Judah’s all like, “HOLY FUCK”
So while you get that egg nog, and youre fillin’ up your cup
I’ll grab my menorah and I’ll LIGHT THAT FUCKER UP
And then I’ll spin a dreidel and I’ll win some gelt, it’s funny–
Leave it to us Jews to make our chocolate look like money
So don’t give me no fruitcake, I assure you I will toss it
Just give this bitch a latke and I’ll fuckin’ APPLESAUCE IT
Go open up your presents, I hope they are insane
I’ll be at the movies and then eating some lo mein
I wish a Happy Hanukkah to all you girls and boys
And of course a Merry Christmas goes out to all you goys
Well, we’re off to a great start, because that was flippin’ hysterical! Loved it! LOL 🙂 Thanks for liking my post “Worst Date Ever”. Hell, I’m not gonna just like your post here, I’m gonna pull the trigger and start following you! (in a strictly virtual sense – and glad I made that clear) Lol – Thanks for the laughs!
Reblogged this on Jap Rap.
Hey Jap Rap, here’s what I felt
You’ve been messing with my Hanukkah gelt
Eat your lo mein and pizza with tomatoes
I’ll be eating my latkes made with Idaho Potatoes
And as for the elderly chillin in the State of Sunshine
You might be Jap Rap but the blog called What Up Girl is mine.
This is hilarious! Thanks for sharing and thanks for stopping by Travel Oops! Steph