While Santa hits the skies to deliver gifts with Blitzen

My people are in Boca, complaining that they’re schvitzin’

And they’re slappin on some lotion, cuz their eczema, it itches

Yes, even though it’s Christmas, it’s still HANUKKAH, BITCHES!

So set aside your presents, step away from them trees

And celebrate for Judah and the fuckin’ Maccabees

Because without them Maccabees, we would all be pagan

And there would be no Hanukkah for Judge ELENA KAGAN

All because these Jewish boys defeated Greeks and Syrians

So their children could be doctors up at New York Presbyterian

They had one night of oil, they were running out of luck,

But it burned for eight whole nights and Judah’s all like, “HOLY FUCK”

So while you get that egg nog, and youre fillin’ up your cup

I’ll grab my menorah and I’ll LIGHT THAT FUCKER UP

And then I’ll spin a dreidel…