YO YO YO it’s been brought to my knowledge
that people miss the raps that I used to write in college
And so because I really didn’t want to depress them
I put my raps in a blog and decided to WordPress them
(boom boom chk wicka wicka what whaat)
I’m a little Jew girl yes I am
I say HOLLA to challah and HELL NO to ham
I live in New York and I like to boast
That I am bicoastal (if Lake Erie is a coast)
(whaat whaat… uh wat wat)
I like theatre and I like pies
I like marrying little Jewish guys
I like all kinds of people from hippies to yuppies
although Sarah Palin makes me wanna kick puppies
(ruff ruff uh bow wow)
I grew up in Cleveland–that’s in the mid-westival
Went to French Woods (not a camp, it’s a festival)
I went to Ithaca for my BFA
with my talented friends, most of them gay
I split my time between work and auditions
and I never end my sentences with prepositions
(with with with with nope)
I like burritos and I like Cher
I like boys with glasses and curly Jewish hair
I like reading blogs, I’m a junkie for Perez
and for Rachel McAdams I’d totally go lez
I often trip and fall when I am walkin
or don’t answer calls when I’m Facebook stalkin
I like to sing and I like to write
I’d like to be a rapper but I’m Jewey and I’m white
So welcome to my blog, feel free to check it out
I hope you like my raps, cuz that’s what I’m about.

word.